He's been on my mind....

Alright so what do you do when you fall again?

I mean I thought I was WAY over this stage

of my life.

When I seriously think about it though

even when I wasn't liking him

he still had a way of making my heart flutter

(he always has been able to do that).

But he has a girlfriend.

I always think every time I see him he's going to tell me

that they broke up

it hasn't happened yet

and yes I need to realize it may never happen.

There is this little piece of me that seriously

hopes that it is coming soon though.

I think I just need to live my life and see if he ever fits in

Why is it so hard to give it to God

let Him take the reigns?

You would think that I would rather not have to think about it

I know God is in control and that he has a man for me

so why m I so stuck on this one?

After so many years of being friends I mean come on

just get over it already right?

Well I will tell you why I am so stuck;

it's because he is easy to talk to there are no awkward silences

because even if we rn't talking it isn''t awkward.

I have been a huge dork around him and we went

thru some of our dumbest times together

so I never feel dumb and never have to watch what I say

because chances are he's said or done dumber.

He will always come and talk to me,

I do not have many guy friends where it has been an equal

give and take.

Needless to say I thought I was totally over him till

a camp thing this summer

funny how thos things come rushing back

in one tidal wave.

I just want to cuddle up to him and talk again.

We used to talk all the time about almost everything.

I just miss him.

One chance that's all I want.

Lord please one chance.

But then I think maybe it could never be what it used to b.

Do I want to risk the old memories

if I got the chance and it really didn't work.

I guess the bottom line is I miss him

I am jealous of her and

I need to move on...

I dream...

I have this dream;

U look up and see me and run

sweeping me up.

I have this dream,

of our heads bent close

telling eachother everything.

I have this dream

where I know everything ur thinking.

Where you let me soak

up your tears.

I have this dream that my dream

would became a reality.

So Today....

I just realized how much I missed you....

You used to trip me and what you didn't

realize is everytime you did I fell harder for you.

I thought I was over it but then you tripped me again.

Now everytime your eyes pierce mine

my heart is sent in a fury of motion.

I love how after all these years you can stil read me like an

open book.

It's gotta mean that I meant a little something to you.

Now all I can think of is:

Maybe someday it could work

It might be great

Please, be my best friend again.

Early

It is way to early to be up

yet I have to go to school and try to learn things.

I m exhausted and don't feel good.

I think it is one of the worst combos and what is

worse about that combination is when you

have to try to function like that.

Better go

More later...

Starting Out

The start of this whole blogging thing.

I like writing things out

and generally can get a better handle on things

once I do so I thought I would

start one of these.